John Maynard reporting
Oh, hello there, blog readers. Slow day for ya, eh?
CAW! CAW! CAW!
About 20-years ago it was unusual to see even a lone eagle in Magnolia. Today a common sight of splendor.
Do you ever wonder why an eagle doesn?t just wheel in flight and take out those stinking pesky crows? If Piper Cubs chased an F-18, couldn?t they just be blown out of the sky? I hereby give the eagles permission to pulverize crows. Not that I have anything against those cheeky good-for-nothing garbage snarfers, other than CAW! CAW! CAW! ? Constantly, isn?t it? Starting about 4:30 every morning. Hell, we might as well legalize roosters.
So it?s okay to bake a blackbird pie, but God help you if you were to atomize a crow with about four good strong pumps of a pellet gun (no, you shut up, you chicken eater).
But wait, my human anger boils. It?s not all evil satanic crow news. Here?s a heart-warmer. My mail lady, Roni (the best) nurtured a wounded crow back to health. Found it and fed it on her route. That crow now follows her faithfully, sometimes riding on the side mirror? and does not caw. Kinda cool, huh?
The Bus
Hey, how?s the #24 working out after 7pm?
About 12 neighbors played a round of Metro Bus Roulette the other evening. Armed with a couple of G ?n? Ts in a water bottle (so sly), boarded the 24 about 8:30pm outside Discovery Park on Emerson. Here?s how the game works. You make a bet on how many passengers will board before it gets to 28th. Everyone draws a number out of a hat. And the winning number? Ta-dah! One! (1) Yep, just one guy jumped on the giant articulated 4 mpg behemoth. Happy motoring.
Space Monsters
Hey kids, wouldn?t it be fun to paint the water tower like a spaceship, with martians looking out the windows? And thrust flames shooting down to the ground. But that would cost money. And right now we?re spending our allowance on bus fuel and big pipes that run down 32nd street and through the earth to wherever the hell. Spaceships are more fun than pipes.
And speaking of $$$
Magnolians can be thrifty. I know that because I see them shopping at Albertson?s.
One can also pare down expenses by wise parking-kiosk shopping. You can buy your ticket from those cumbersome parking kiosks at a lower rate the farther from downtown you are. But the same ticket still works if you?re lucky enough to even find a jacked-up rate parking spot downtown.
And by the way, aren?t those inventions convenient? Especially in the wind and the rain, when there are two people in front of you. Authorizing, authorizing, authorizing? Why I tell ya, if I had a friend with a Dodge Ram, a logging chain, and a pint of Jack, some Saturday night we?d sure have us some big ol? fun.
Goodbye and Good Riddance
Well, I?ve done what I can to uphold my blog obligation, but now I must make a final exit. Pretty busy these days doing safety announcements on the WA State Ferries and griping to neighbors about leaf blowers. And crows.
So in closing, as I believe Nixon once said, ?I am not a crook.?
CAW! CAW! CAW!
CAW! CAW! CAW!
About 20-years ago it was unusual to see even a lone eagle in Magnolia. Today a common sight of splendor.
Do you ever wonder why an eagle doesn?t just wheel in flight and take out those stinking pesky crows? If Piper Cubs chased an F-18, couldn?t they just be blown out of the sky? I hereby give the eagles permission to pulverize crows. Not that I have anything against those cheeky good-for-nothing garbage snarfers, other than CAW! CAW! CAW! ? Constantly, isn?t it? Starting about 4:30 every morning. Hell, we might as well legalize roosters.
So it?s okay to bake a blackbird pie, but God help you if you were to atomize a crow with about four good strong pumps of a pellet gun (no, you shut up, you chicken eater).
But wait, my human anger boils. It?s not all evil satanic crow news. Here?s a heart-warmer. My mail lady, Roni (the best) nurtured a wounded crow back to health. Found it and fed it on her route. That crow now follows her faithfully, sometimes riding on the side mirror? and does not caw. Kinda cool, huh?
The Bus
Hey, how?s the #24 working out after 7pm?
About 12 neighbors played a round of Metro Bus Roulette the other evening. Armed with a couple of G ?n? Ts in a water bottle (so sly), boarded the 24 about 8:30pm outside Discovery Park on Emerson. Here?s how the game works. You make a bet on how many passengers will board before it gets to 28th. Everyone draws a number out of a hat. And the winning number? Ta-dah! One! (1) Yep, just one guy jumped on the giant articulated 4 mpg behemoth. Happy motoring.
Space Monsters
Hey kids, wouldn?t it be fun to paint the water tower like a spaceship, with martians looking out the windows? And thrust flames shooting down to the ground. But that would cost money. And right now we?re spending our allowance on bus fuel and big pipes that run down 32nd street and through the earth to wherever the hell. Spaceships are more fun than pipes.
And speaking of $$$
Magnolians can be thrifty. I know that because I see them shopping at Albertson?s.
One can also pare down expenses by wise parking-kiosk shopping. You can buy your ticket from those cumbersome parking kiosks at a lower rate the farther from downtown you are. But the same ticket still works if you?re lucky enough to even find a jacked-up rate parking spot downtown.
And by the way, aren?t those inventions convenient? Especially in the wind and the rain, when there are two people in front of you. Authorizing, authorizing, authorizing? Why I tell ya, if I had a friend with a Dodge Ram, a logging chain, and a pint of Jack, some Saturday night we?d sure have us some big ol? fun.
Goodbye and Good Riddance
Well, I?ve done what I can to uphold my blog obligation, but now I must make a final exit. Pretty busy these days doing safety announcements on the WA State Ferries and griping to neighbors about leaf blowers. And crows.
So in closing, as I believe Nixon once said, ?I am not a crook.?
CAW! CAW! CAW!