John Maynard reporting
Hello, Magnolians. In furthering my quest of a Cub Reporter badge, may I address such issues as?
BAH, HUMBUG! Flying blatantly in the face of holiday joy, and counterpoint to Christmas glad tidings, some Scroogey citizen near 28th and Garfield brazenly flew their full-sized Bah, Humbug! banner high atop their side-yard flag pole. But it may have backfired as those who saw it found themselves having a good laugh. Good on ya, Mr. & Mrs. Grinch! And same to ya.
And?
SPEAKING OF THE HOLIDAYS – Did everyone remember to arrive about 20-minutes early for your parties and social functions? This allows extra time to gripe about Seattle traffic, which now seems to be a requisite prelude to most conversations.
And?
POST OFFICE ODDITY – Tried to mail a package at the Magnolia P.O. I was told by the affable man behind the counter, ?Sorry, not today. I can?t sell you stamps because you see, I?m the supervisor. I can?t take your money. Come back later when there?s a clerk.?
?Okay, how about I leave you the money and if there is any change, I can pick it up later from the clerk.?
?Nope, can?t do it. I?m the supervisor. I can?t take any money.?
?Oh, I get it. An UNsupervised P.O. works best. Good thing Dan Penhollow’s Magnolia Mailbox is just across the street.?
THE GIM – This may be of little concern to most Magnolians, but your reporter was saddened recently to learn that the Gim Wah now closes as 1a.m. It used to be 2, the way God wants it. That only leaves us with the Boxcar Alehouse. Ever been there at that critical hour? Whoa!! Compare the adventure to clamping your noggin in the Ace Hardware paint shaker for a few minutes.
And?
LANGUAGE – A question. Does it seem most Magnolia teens and 20-somethings employ only a few words in their vocabulary these days? Or to translate that into Teen Speak: Dude, like, does it, like, seem as like, most, you know, like, teens and stuff, like, only employ, like, a few words, or whatever, like, into their, like, vocabulary? Like, whatever.
And finally?
TO AL SNARFINGTON, who implied in the Comments section that all it takes to write this blog is a few stiff ones at The Gim. My thoughts?first, Snarfington, how insulting. And secondly?yes, sir. You are correct, sir.
In two weeks I am going to totally abuse this column by promoting my band, The Turdles, playing February 14 at the Swedish Club.
Oh, and have I ever mentioned in this blog that leaf blowers are a dagger in the very heart of the human spirit? I did? Perfect.
Okeydoke. Till then?
John Maynard